“You’re happier and nicer to me when we have sex,” I said to my husband this morning over coffee, a few minutes before we got our boys up for school. “What?!” he asked, starting to get defensive. “It’s not an accusation,” I replied neutrally. “It’s just an observation.” His energy softened. “Your love language is physical touch, then words of affirmation,” I said. “When there’s less sex going on between us, you and I are …