4 Essential Phrases For Your Leadership Toolbox

As a leader, your job is to manage people, relationships, and results. This is no easy task and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to effectively influence those you work with. However, there are four phrases that are helpful to have in your leadership toolbox. Let’s examine each and determine which situations they are relevant for to make your life easier and your leadership more impactful.

 🗣️ 1. How can I support you?

Most of us recognize that all too often when we are listening, we aren’t actually listening. Instead, we are preparing our response and waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can fix whatever issue they’ve brought up. But that leaves our team (or family members) feeling unheard and invalidated. It also creates a habit of dependency on you, rather than empowering your employees to come up with their own solutions to the problem at hand.

But once we improve our leadership listening skills and allow our teammates (or loved ones) to express themselves without jumping in to fix things, how should we respond? Sometimes people just need to vent to feel validated, valued, and less alone (a contributing factor to burnout). Other times, people truly do want help or advice, though it might be a different request than what our busy, self-focused brain hones in on. Here’s how to find out.

Simply ask, “How can I support you?”

You might hear a response like, “Oh, I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.” Or, “So my real concern is X. How do you recommend we proceed?” Or, “I need support with Y (an aspect of the solution they’ve just identified from your conversation – yes, the conversation where you listened and said nothing!)

“How can I support you?” ensures you get clear on the other person’s ask, so you are only spending your time and energy on the support that is really needed.

 🗣️ 2. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.

While mindful listening is pertinent to being an impactful leader, that doesn’t mean we should allow others to steal our time with unproductive conversations. Therefore, we must determine when someone needs our support and leadership guidance, or when they are complaining, procrastinating, looking for an easy fix so they don’t have to do the hard work, or trying to unload their mental burdens on someone else.

If you suspect the latter, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” is an effective phrase to empower others to take ownership of emotions and situations that are not your responsibility.

“This Excel spreadsheet keeps freezing.”

   “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“My mother-in-law keeps calling me in the middle of the work day.”

   “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“We misplaced the banquet order for tonight.”

   “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“I’m not sure if I should buy a Honda or a Toyota.”

   “I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

First, become an expert at determining when you need to support vs. when you need to empower, and when a challenge is your responsibility vs. when it’s just a productivity and time-suck that doesn’t require your involvement. Then, when appropriate, say, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” to let your teammate (or family member) “keep their monkeys to themselves,” as one of my friends and clients says.

Click HERE for 2 more helpful phrases for your leadership toolbox – from my most recent article in Brainz Magazine