4 Mindfulness Tools To Survive The Stress of Life… & Real Estate Transactions

We are moving. At the end of May my husband and I decided the timing was finally right to pursue buying our dream house on two acres of land so our family could spend more time in nature. 

But it’s the middle of a pandemic, well-meaning people said. But the economy is unstable, they added. But it’s so much work and you have two young kids home, they cautioned.

We didn’t listen. One of the reasons I love my husband is because we don’t let what others think about us influence us. We don’t care how our car or sunglasses or handbag compares to others. We don’t make decisions about our life based on others’ expectations. And we don’t let the well-meaning, but lack-based, worries and advice of others drive who we are.

So we pursued selling and buying a home. 

We worked hard. It manifested quickly. And it was full of all of the roller-coaster ups and downs of real estate that I had forgotten about. It was our consciousness and the tools we’ve earned through this grand experience of life that got us through it all. 

Let me share a couple examples here.

On Tuesday, one week before we were scheduled to close, the mortgage we had been pre-approved for months earlier fell through. Given the unstable COVID economy, banks were changing qualification parameters daily. While in underwriting, it was determined we no longer qualified for our mortgage. 

The phone call from our loan officer sank me. We could lose our dream home. We could end up living back in the same kind of house and yard we were eager to move out of. All our time, energy, and money spent moving and buying this house over the last two months would be for nothing. 

But quickly, almost instantly, I pulled myself out of these dooming, suffering thoughts. Here’s how:

Mindfulness Tool #1  Everything is figure-out-able. 

A challenge can either derail us or be seen as an opportunity, just one more piece in the puzzle to get us to our intention. We immediately began looking for solutions. I spent five hours on the phone gathering data to identify options and make the best decision. There was a chance our new solution would not go through in time and we could lose the deal, but it was the best choice and so we took action doing all we could to put it into place.

Mindfulness Tool #2  Detach from outcome. 

And then we let it be. We were in full action toward what we wanted (including extra phone calls and emails asking others to do all they could to help us make our Plan B happen). Once we did all that, however, there was no worry, no poor-me (even though, yes, we were disappointed), and no more angst. We understood the universe always has a bigger and better plan for us, and if this house was not it, we were ok to accept that.

(Again, this ok-ness came from first taking all steps in our power to be in action as part of the solution. We can’t just sit around praying and visualizing what we want into existence – we must be in action… then let it go, detaching from the outcome, trusting it will work out perfectly in the end.)

Mindfulness Tool #3  Attachment to form causes all suffering. 

We live life in two dimensions: the form and formlessness. Form is the material world, everything we buy and own, our bodies and who we identify as, anything you can touch , see, or label. Formlessness is the essence of who we are, the spiritual being having a human experience. The timeless, abundant oneness energy that connects us all. It’s our being state, whether that be love, freedom, equanimity, creativity, or anything else.

Since we live in a world of both form and formlessness, we must live, work, and play in both dimensions. We can – and should – enjoy form (our bodies, nice things, good food), while remembering that it’s impermanent, that nothing of form will last forever. When we forget this and attach to form in any way, we experience suffering. We attach to our youthful, wrinkle-free skin or the car we drive. We attach to the job we have or the clothes we wear. We attach to the physical presence of the people in our lives and the labels we use to show society who we are. And because every single one of these forms are impermanent, when they go or change, if we are attached to them, we will suffer.

Formlessness, however, is ever-present no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. Formlessness is not dependent on form.

The moment I felt upset about potentially losing that house, I knew I was attaching to form. Of course, we need a place to live, but I knew those details always work themselves out. If my happiness is tied to living in that one dream house I had my eyes on, then I will suffer. Looking at formlessness, I know I have the love of my family and my ability to create in an abundant universe. And I know I can always have all of that no matter what house I am living in or what form looks like.

Mindfulness Tool #4  We are always either in lack or abundance. Joy happens when we come from a place of abundance, even when dealing with life’s challenges. 

Lack thinking sounds like there are no other homes we want to live in at the new price point. It sounds like all this time and energy was wasted. It sounds like everyone is out to serve their own interests and no one will help us. 

Abundance thinking sounds like there are endless places where we could live. We enjoyed the journey together of our time and energy going into moving, so it was worth it. People will help, opportunities will come. The universe always takes care of us. 

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I have been so grateful for my work and teachers over this past week, knowing that no matter what life throws at me, I have the tools to get through it. As the Buddha said, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.” We aren’t going to suffer through this real estate transaction!

To your bliss, with love, 
Sara