4 Ways To Parent With More Joy

“I’m grateful for butt cracks and farts…”

I never thought that sentence would fill my heart with joy, but now that I have two little boys, it does. Here’s why:

I’ve adopted four views on parenting that help me parent with more joy.

#1 I deeply desire my boys to shine bright and be their authentic selves. 🌟

I never want to dim their light. This is one of the top reasons that I got trained to be a conscious parenting coach. I saw how culture and my childhood experiences had dimmed my light, and I didn’t want to do the same to my boys. I don’t carry any blame or resentment toward my upbringing, but because I know better, I choose to do better.

I see how beautiful and special each of my boys are. I never want them to feel like they have to be someone they are not in order to please me or feel loved. I regularly have to squash my expectations of how my boys should act and allow them to unfold as they are, rather than how I want them to be. I know deep within my heart that when each of us and our children embrace the unique gifts we’ve been given, our world will be an even better place and we’ll all live with so much more love, creativity, and joy.

#2 I embrace simple wonders. 🌷

There is magic all around us every single day. When we get present and see the pleasure in simple things, like the shimmer of the moon, the sweetness of an ice-cold ice cream cone, and the delight of the baby bunny learning how to make its way across the grass for the first time, more and more of life’s magic opens up for us.

When we are experiencing these simple pleasures, we are in a state of pure abundance and joy. My children don’t need more things. They need me to be more present with them so we can experience the wonder of our world that is right under our noses.

#3 I focus on quality over quantity. 👥

Being a present parent isn’t about the amount of time you spend with your children. It’s about the quality of the time you spend with them. A lot of us are physically present with our children – we are in the same room or car as them – but we are not mentally or emotionally present. We might be scrolling social media or refreshing our inbox, in our thoughts about a work problem or relationship drama, or just so overwhelmed or exhausted with the demands we’ve put on our own lives, that we are far from present with our children.

It’s more important to spend ten minutes of quality, no-cell-phone, uninterrupted time meeting your child where he is at (as we discussed earlier in this chapter), than to spend an entire Saturday with him when your mind and heart are elsewhere. Our children are highly intuitive since they haven’t yet been programmed to spend their time thinking about the past or future as most of us adults do, so they know whether or not you are actually present with them.

#4 I make gratitude a regular part of our family dynamic. 🙏

Joy and gratitude go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. It’s important that we help our children realize this as well.

To do this, I created a gratitude practice with my family. At nighttime when we do our bedtime routine, we share three things that we are grateful for. We call this, “saying our gratefuls.”

When Maverick was younger, his gratefuls started out very simple. “I’m grateful for my family, and for God, and for our house,” he would say. Now, they’re more specific: “I’m grateful for having a playdate with the neighbors.” Or, “I’m grateful for eating apples with Daddy at bed time.”

My other son, Kyen, often comes up with very sweet gratefuls as well, like, “I’m grateful that I get to spend time with my family.” Though he usually ends it with at least one or two “I’m grateful for butt cracks and farts…”

Lots of love and #haveitall,
💜 Your Coach,
Sara