5 Ways To Survive – And Enjoy! – Vacationing With Young Kids

My family and I are on vacation now in Banff National Park.

I laughed with my husband yesterday realizing that our time together has teeter tottered on the edge of bliss, catching sweet moments of heartfelt gestures between our boys and making fun memories that will forever be imprinted on our brains…

With the other edge of curse-word frustration from overdrawn patience, too many fights to break up, and yet another meltdown or I’m-glad-no-one-knows-us public misbehavior.

Thankfully, the joyful moments outweigh the stress. And traveling with my boys allows me to watch them mature and gain confidence from new experiences right before my eyes. These moments of change are so often missed in the hurried-ness of our everyday lives.

In order for you to truly enjoy your family vacations, rather than just get by, here are a few tips that work for me:

1. Have zero expectations.

I never assume the boys will sleep on the airplane, sit still at dinner time, or that everything will go as planned and on time.

That way, if they do fall asleep or keep themselves content on a long flight, the 20-minute nap or book reading I get feels like a nice treat. If lines move quickly and traffic’s a non-issue, we can celebrate the win with extra time for something fun.

2. Give yourself – and your spouse – a compassionate break, again and again and again.

Nerves will be shot. The patience bank will be tapped. Yelling and adult blowups will happen. When they do, take a deep breath, forgive yourself, and re-center, committing to do the best you can.

You are not a horrible parent, no matter what comes out of your mouth or into your mind in a moment of frustration while traveling (or anytime for that matter). Don’t beat yourself up; just begin again… and again… and again.

As you catch yourself in these moments and realize this is not how you want to behave, you’ll begin stopping yourself earlier and earlier – sometimes even mid-yell – and will bring yourself back to calm.

3. Remember, your kids are kids.

Young kids do not enjoy going out to eat like we do. They view it as having to sit still and be quiet for an extra-long time (when all their bodies want to do is move and play).

For kids, hiking is not about fresh air and getting our hearts pumping in beautiful scenery. It’s about discovering the simple gifts of nature. For them, each rock, stick, mud puddle, and squirrel deserves to be explored, even if it takes 10 times longer to reach the end of the trail.

Our kids are kids and we shouldn’t try to make them act any differently. In fact, there’s a lot we can learn from them as they meander through a trail in search of beauty, or take in the sight, scent, and feel of a bright wild flower.

4. You and your spouse are in this together.

Our kids play off the energy they feel between Mommy and Daddy. Be mindful of what energy you are sharing with your kids while on vacation.

Vacation is no different than normal life in the sense that we all need a few moments to ourselves to unwind, refresh, and fill our cup. If we don’t take these moments, we’ll lose the patience war a lot earlier and find ourselves scowling and wishing for vacation to be over, rather than contributing to fun time together.

My husband and I cover for each other at least once a day so we can take a little time for ourselves. I usually choose to nap, read, get a massage, or write. Mike goes to the gym, sits in the hot tub, or chats on the phone with friends.

When we notice the other getting frazzled, we jump in and take over to offer a little refuge.

5. Disconnect from work.

When I go on vacation, I take my work email off my iPhone mail app so that if I choose to connect with the office, it’s on my own predetermined terms.

I don’t want to glance at my work inbox at a stoplight and find myself frustrated by a message or drawn away into problem-solving mode instead of in-the-moment exploration with my kids.

Before the vacation starts, I choose how often I will check in on work. Will it be once a day, every other day, or not at all? And how long I will allow myself to spend on work emails. I set a timer to hold myself accountable and not get sucked in longer than I want.

The last two vacations I took, I completely disconnected from my corporate job email – choosing not to review it until the plane ride home. (Of course, I set everything up to be handled by my team in my absence before I left for vacation.)

Since I’m the main person making my coaching business run at the moment, I decided to check in on those emails once a day to see if there was anything urgent to respond to. 98% of the matters have not been urgent and so I’ve waited until my return to handle them (even though I was tempted to address them right away).

This disconnection from work has given me space to research some great experiences for our family to do together. It has, of course, provided me more moments of lingering snuggles and savored coffees or wine. Plus, it’s allowed me to really rejuvenate so I can hit the ground running when vacation is over.

In conclusion…

Traveling with my family is one of my most favorite things that I have made at intention to do at least once a year. It creates an incredible bond with my kids and husband and makes my heart sing. Even though vacation can sometimes be messy, by committing to the five steps above, it is much more enjoyable.

How do you set yourself up to thrive during family vacation?

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