6 Ways To Prep For A Tough-Love Conversation 

To lead with impact and live in alignment with purpose and joy, you need to have tough-love conversations on the regular.

Whether it’s holding a staff member accountable or setting a boundary with your mother-in-law, I call these conversations “tough-LOVE” because we want the person on the receiving end to feel loved, valued, and respected… even if we don’t love the behavior that we’re addressing.

I do deeper into communication methodologies for many different situations in my leadership trainings and coaching programs, but I want to share with you here some prep work that’s common for any tough-love conversation:

#1  Detach emotionally. Simply saying to yourself “Right now I feel…” will help any emotions move through you and activate the executive functioning part of your brain. You can also take some deep breaths, go for a walk, get outside in nature for 5 minutes, or journal on what’s coming up for you.

#2  Practice empathy. Consider the other person’s point of view, concerns, and desires.

#3  Get clear on how you want them to FEEL during and after the conversation. Usually, we want them to feel valued, respected, and understood.

#4  Approach as a coach who wants to help (meaning: you + me vs. the problem, rather than you vs. me).

#5  What’s our shared purpose? (e.g. “We both want to meet our numbers this quarter so we can get our bonus.” Or “We both have our son’s best interest in mind.” Or “We both want you to be successful here.”)

#6  Separate the neutral facts of the situation from your Head Hurricane (those stories you make up in your mind then ruminate on that have no real evidence to support them). Speak only to the neutral facts. Ask questions to understand better.

Taking a moment to assess these 6 things to get clear on your intention for the conversation will help it go smoother for both parties.

🟣 And just as important: simply have the conversation. 🟣

Delaying only causes you to waste precious time and energy in the imaginary space in your mind. Just like a muscle, the more you have tough-love conversations, the stronger you will get at it. 💪

To you communicating with a powerful presence!

With love, your coach,
💜Sara

P.S. Want to give your leadership team the tools to communicate better and manage conflict? Leadership data from Harvard, Yale, Learning In Action, and countless other sources cite emotional intelligence (EQ) as THE key success factor to leadership success. And my EQ leadership workshops get rave reviews for building trust and breaking silos. Book a call with me here to discuss getting on your team’s calendar this fall.