A Little Trick That Helped My Struggle With Body Image

When I was in middle school, I thought my butt was big. I tied a button-up shirt or sweatshirt around my waste every day to cover it up. 🍑

In high school, I drank SlimFast shakes for breakfast and took laxatives after lunch to flush extra calories out of me. 💩

In college, I warmed up extra cheesy scrambled eggs and bacon in my dorm microwave, the breakfast staple of the Atkins diet I had put myself on. 🧀🥚🍳

In my early 20s, I used my restaurant tip money to buy expensive cellulite cream for my thighs. 🧴 (Is cellulite even a thing at age 21?!?)

I danced off and on with the South Beach Diet and other low-carb regimens for years, trying to find the one that would magically make my body look different. 🍽️

I was using my mind to learn about different ways to make myself skinny, but what I didn’t realize is that my mind was also contributing to the ongoing suffering I had around my body image and food. As I became more mindful through my yoga and meditation practice, I started to notice these thoughts dominating my headspace:

“I just went for a run. That means I can eat eggs for breakfast instead of a protein shake.”

“That cookie looks yummy. I can’t eat a cookie. Let me see if this yogurt will cure my sugar craving.”

“Oh, look at my belly sticking out. This dress is so cute but I’ll keep it in my closet ‘til I lose a couple more pounds.”

“Look at that girl. Her legs are thinner than mine.”

“My arms are thinner than hers.”

“I wonder if my butt looks as toned in a swim suit.”

Day after day, thought after thought took up precious space in my mind about what I should or shouldn’t eat, how I looked, and how my body compared to other women. Sometimes I felt better about myself; sometimes I felt worse. This is the detrimental, unavoidable trap we fall into with comparison. 😞

A few years ago, my husband and I were getting ready for a vacation to the Dominican Republic. I normally started restrictive dieting and no carbs a few weeks before a beach vacation so I could feel ok about my body in a swimsuit. I looked in the mirror and thought, “Ugh, my chromosome-shaped legs are so weird. I better tighten them up before our vacation.”

Thankfully, I was having a mindful moment and recognized the thought pattern I had fallen into and how absurd it was.

“Enough!” I told myself. “You are your harshest critic! Every time you look in the mirror, you point out something to improve upon, something you wish were different. Let’s change this up. Every time you look in the mirror, I want you to find something you love about your body. I want you to focus on your beauty, rather than look for the ugly.”

And so my experiment began. Every time I looked in the mirror, I complemented my elbow, my tone stomach, the strength of my legs, my jaw line, or shiny hair. For every one negative comment I caught myself saying, I’d pinpoint two areas of my body that were beautiful.

In just a few weeks, something changed.

I remember feeling so confident in my body while in the Dominican Republic. I wore my swimsuit down to the pool without even wearing a coverup! I had my husband take pictures of me doing yoga poses in my bikini that I then posted on social media. Who was this new girl?! 💃👙🎉

Because of years of comparing myself to magazine pictures and being exposed to marketing messages for products that would make me “look better” and feel better about myself, it wasn’t long after this trip that I fell back into the trap of loathing the way my body looked. In fact, I still struggle with it today and need to consciously pull myself back into the mindfulness of looking in the mirror and pointing out the beauty in me vs. the beast. Of caring more about feeling good than looking perfect. Of remembering that we are all human beings with different shapes, sizes, and skin.

I am NOT saying this as a free for all to eat whatever we want. I am saying this so we can respect our bodies and keep them healthy. So that we can see our beauty even when it doesn’t align with the Photoshopped cover models we’re used to. Us women spend so much time and energy on these thoughts. 💥 Imagine what we could do with our brain power if it were focused on something more productive, like the solution to school shootings or alternatives to plastic wrappers. 💥

Oh, and remember my “big” butt that I didn’t like in middle school? Turns out my butt is my husband’s favorite part of my body. The part of myself I always wanted to cover up, he loves and wants to see more of. Let’s love ourselves enough to notice our inherent beauty. Let’s let all parts of ourselves be seen. This is where our authentic power lies.

To your beauty.

Lots of love,

Your coach,

💖Sara