Figuring Out How To Take Better Care Of Myself

Being a mom with two babies at home has been hard for me. Since Kyen was born I haven’t reconnected to my self. Trying to balance it all, I’ve kicked ass at my job and being a mom, done ok at being a friend/daughter/sister, but I’ve been pretty shitty at being a wife and taking care of myself. My husband has gotten what patience and love is left over at the end of the day (not much) and I’ve been choosing sleep and, really, everything else instead of working out/yoga, which has always been what’s kept me sane my entire adult life.

But today I feel my cup runneth over. I connected and had fun in New York with co-workers old and new I haven’t seen in over a year. I got to see my dear best friend/cousin marry a man that adores her and treats her how she deserves to be treated. I saw family and old friends, and had meaningful conversation with them, some of it in remembrance of family members that have already passed that I yearn to know more about to give me insight into where I come from. I bought new running shoes on Monday and have pounded the pavement several times already since then. And as I sit on the airplane without any children on my lap and listen (just sit and listen and contemplate) to my favorite songs that fill my soul, tears fill my eyes.

I am grateful for the friends I finally have in Naples. For the community of strong women (and men) that stood up for humanity by marching across the world. For the support of my husband, mother-in-law, mom, dad, step-mom, and nanny to care for my boys, my loves, while I travel. For a life that has given me the luxury to travel whenever I want, maintain friendships, and learn more about myself and the world.

Mother’s guilt has crept in; it always does. But I am trying to practice what I have always preached in my yoga classes: that I have to fill my own cup in order to give to my loved ones, my responsibilities, the world. Right now I commit to taking better care of myself, to being in more gratitude, and to practicing more compassion for the human beings I encounter each day. Namaste.

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