Halloween’s Over. Take Off Your Mask.

Part of what contributes to the angst and overwhelm of our lives is that so many of us wear masks. We choose to be inauthentic to fit in or because that’s what we learned served us or kept us safe as kids. 

Perhaps we wore the “Tough Girl” mask so the bullies or mean girls would leave us alone. Or we wore the “Good Girl” mask to please our parents who were consumed with a sibling’s illness or issue. Or we wore the “Class Clown” mask to hide the sadness we were feeling from a loss or our parent’s divorce. Or we wore the “Lackadaisical Girl” mask to rebel against a critical or hyper achievement-driven parent.

We learned to wear masks in childhood, then kept right on wearing them as adults.For instance, a different version of me showed up when I was with my friends vs. with my family or with my husband or at work or in the yoga studio. I wasn’t really sure who I was, and when I did get glimpses of the authentic Sara, I wasn’t confident enough to let her be seen. 

Then, when Yoga Sara had to show up at the same time as Friend Sara, there was a clash, a disharmony, and too much of my energy went to navigating the scenario and my false selves. 

When I started doing the transformative inner work that I now guide my clients through, these masks became very obvious to me. I had to understand where they came from and, in a way, accept, forgive, and love those pieces of me. By shining a light on my inauthenticities, while having compassion for them, these false parts of me started to fall away. 

At first, being my authentic self was hard (and sometimes still is when my ego takes over and I fear being judged or not accepted). I was so comfortable in the masks I had created for myself, even though that comfort was creating chaos. But each day as I sought out to be the authentic me, to practice a little discomfort (something my yoga practice first taught me, which is why I will forever be a yogi and a yoga teacher), it got a little easier. (Just as the first time you practice Downward Facing Dog in yoga, it can feel hard or messy or uncomfortable, but soon becomes your welcome resting pose.)

At times, I feared people who had gained my trust would judge me when they learned truths about me and my past. But I found those very things that scared me to tell others about were precisely what created a deep connection, because we were finally connecting person to person, heart to heart, soul to soul… not mask to mask. 

With courage and being willing to step into the discomfort of something new, I learned to embrace being my true, powerful, creative, beautiful self. Now, it feels uncomfortable whenever I catch myself living in-authentically. I’m tuned into my True North and intend to stay that way. 

If you notice yourself wearing a mask, that’s a good thing. This awareness is your first step towards change. 

Ask yourself why you feel you need to wear that mask and where that expectation comes from. Begin daily commitments to connect with your true self through things like yoga, meditation, journaling, quiet inquiry, and inner growth work. Surround yourself with people who love and support the authentic version of you.

It’s time to take off your masks. The world needs to see the true, divine, uniqueness that is within you. Don’t hoard it from the rest of us. Bare your beauty bountifully!

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