Helping Your Team (and Kids) Thrive Outside Their Comfort Zone

We all have a part of ourselves that is brave and enjoys trying new things. And a part of ourselves that fears uncertainty and would rather not be vulnerable and expose ourselves to embarrassment or humiliation or boredom or just the uncomfortableness that is required to do something new – even if it’s fun or would enhance our career!

Which part should we listen to? 

As a joy seeker who wants to squeeze out as much juice as possible from this brief lifetime, I lean towards courage and adventure, even though it requires regular vulnerability.

But as a parent (or leader) is it ok for me to project my mindset onto my children (or team)?

This is a fine line to balance.

Take the situation with my 8-year-old son, Kyen.

He’s been making up his own [super legit] song lyrics since he was 4 years old and pretty much dances his way through life instead of walking. He’s got natural moves I wish I could rock at the club with my girlfriends on Saturday night!

But when we talked about enrolling him in a Broadway Dance summer camp, he was a huge no.

I validated his feelings so he felt heard and I could understand what his concerns really were, but I decided to push a little.

I pushed because dance is natural part of his authentic self (and I spend many hours a week helping my executive coaching clients reconnect to their authentic selves that they lost in childhood as they shapeshifted to be who their caregivers and society told them they should be, rather than who they really were!)

And I pushed because that’s one of my strengths: I see the greatness in others and have a deep capacity to bring people to their growing edge with fierce compassion. I want to see everyone shine – especially my son.

By validating him and finding out what his concerns around the camp were, we were able to discuss each one and come to an agreement around his involvement. I promised Kyen that if he hated it, I would not ask him to take another dance class or even force him to participate in the showcase performance at the end of camp. 

Of course, after just two days, he fell in love with the camp and has asked to take more singing and dance classes. To his own accord, he even set his alarm to get up early the morning of his showcase so he could get some extra practice and a hearty breakfast in.

When life offers you the opportunity to stay the same or try something new which will lead to growth (and joy), which part of yourself do you listen to? 

When you see the greatness in your team or your children, how do you guide it out of them so they can shine, while also feeling respected, seen, and heard?

Hit reply to let me know. I so enjoy hearing from and collaborating with you!

Happy comfort-zone crossing!

Love, your coach,
 

💜Sara

P.S. Are you ready to help your leaders cross their comfort zones to create even more engaged teams that deliver remarkable service? My emotional intelligence leadership and trust-building workshops might be just what you need! Book a call with me to discuss if it’s a fit for you.