Holiday Harmony: Master Stress-Free Gatherings with EQ

Dreamin’ of pumpkin pie… with a side of over-served uncle, closed-minded cousin, or over-involved in-law?

Ahh the holidays. That time of year that brings so many of us together with ones we love… and ones we’re forced to love because of blood and marriage contracts. To keep the holidays magical and reduce as much frustration with others as possible, I’ve put together this EQ check list to keep your cool no matter who shows up for Thanksgiving dinner or what topic lands on the table.

EQ Pillar 1: Self-Awareness

• Remember:

The way you feel about a situation/comment is a reflection of the meaning you’re giving to it. Or, it’s triggering something from the past that you haven’t dealt with yet.

• Use Affect Labeling:

Say to yourself, “Right now I feel _____.” Whether its angry, annoyed, hurt, or any other feeling, the simple act of labeling it will calm your nervous system and activate the executive functioning part of your brain so you’re less likely to react or say something you’ll later wish you could take back.

• Avoid Or Put Boundaries Around Triggers:

For example, don’t down that cranberry cocktail on an empty stomach if you know alcohol diminishes your self-control. Excuse yourself from the conversation when politics come up. Commit to being curious and learning something rather than having to inject your opinion.

EQ Pillar 2: Self-Management

• Remember:

Exercise, meditation, a good night sleep, time to relax, and nourishing food will help you better handle any stress caused by the holidays.

• Use the Power Of The Pause:

Take a deep breath and P A U S E before responding to any comment to ensure it’s a chosen response vs. an unconscious reaction

• Summon Your Best Self:

Ask yourself, “How would my Highest Self handle this right now?”

EQ Pillar 3: Others-Awareness

• Remember:

Your presence, your way of being has a bigger influence on someone than the words you preach to them. And, it’s nearly impossible to change someone’s belief system especially about emotionally charged topics like politics and religion.

• Use Empathic Listening:

Zip your lip. Ask more questions. Seek to understand.

• Choose Fascination Over Frustration:

What can you learn by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes? Instead of being frustrated by someone’s opinion, be fascinated by it.

EQ Pillar 4: Relationship Management

• Remember:

Set your intention before communicating: How do you want them to feel? Loved, respected, like we can sit at the same dinner table together?

We have no control over how someone will respond to us, AND we can be intentional in our communication so the interaction is more likely to go in the direction we desire.

• Use Nonviolent Communication (NVC) Methodology:

“When X happened, I felt Y. What I need is Z.”

For example: “When we talk politics, I feel frustrated and we tend to end up in a fight. If this subject comes up during the football game, I’m going to change the subject or leave the room.”

Or: “When I shared my career goals and you laughed at them, I felt disheartened. I’d love for you to just listen and support me, even though the path I’m taking is different than what you want for me.”

• Ask Yourself: Would I Rather Be Right Or Happy?

Being right is like heroine to human beings, says one of my mentors Baron Baptiste. When we are stuck on being right and needing to get our point across, we can’t connect or communicate effectively with others.

With the holidays fast approaching, practicing emotional intelligence can be your secret weapon for navigating family dynamics with grace and resilience. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about showing up as your best self and creating a space where joy, understanding, and connection can thrive. The real magic of the season lies in our ability to nurture the relationships that matter most, even amid the occasional chaos.

Happy Holidays—and may your EQ be as strong as your Thanksgiving spread!

Your coach,

💜Sara