How I’m Doing Now That We’re Back From A World-Rocking Trip To India

Wow, India. What a freaking smack-me-in-the-face change-my-life experience. I am not sure yet why I was meant to go on that trip, but it has impacted me greatly. My heart is broken for the so many people of India that live in poverty and also for our planet that is incredibly polluted. I truly have never seen so much poverty and pollution in my life as I did in Mumbai. I haven’t cried, been angry, felt helpless, felt grateful, felt ashamed for what I spend my money on, etc. etc. as much as that trip. It beat me up and I am still recovering and know I will never be the same. In some ways I feel I’m having post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) though I know I shouldn’t joke about that (I’m not), or else I am moving through the stages of grief grieving my loss of innocence maybe? I’m trying to figure it out.

You could watch Lion and Slumdog Millionaire or look at the 300 pictures of slum upon slum upon slum that I took in just a one hour drive (it’s like that all throughout Mumbai by the way, no matter which neighborhood you are in or which way you drive), but it will never do justice to what its actually like to see and feel and smell the reality of that city. Ouch. I’m grateful that I’m feeling the urge to write to share our story and bring hope and make people realize the oh-so-many blessings we have in our lives.

I went to yoga yesterday. I was tired and missed the boys and really just wanted to start my Friday night with a glass of wine, but I got on my mat. Somehow everything feels better now. My body, particularly my hip flexors, aren’t screaming at me anymore from the long hours on the airplane. My sleep was more sound, my energy is back, and I feel my outlook shifting. I am not as depressed about what I experienced in Mumbai, but am starting to feel a sense of hope and a re-connection to love. I’m excited about what came out of our meetings and the groups Mahaan Aasha Foundation will be supporting.

I love yoga. It changed my life and continues to do so, every day. When I’m stressed I get on my mat. When I’m tired, when I’m angry, when I’m sad, when I’m confused, when my body aches, when I can’t take another whine or tantrum, when I am not sure about my direction or haven’t found the answer I’m looking for, I get on my mat. When I need to get my ass kicked and make my muscles quiver, I get on my mat. It brings “me” back – always. It grounds me. It gives me perspective. And so for that, I am forever grateful to India for creating yoga. And so for that, I realize I WILL be back to India one day to explore other areas of the diverse country, probably the North where it’s said yoga originated from. And if one place can shift my perspective so greatly, why would I stay away? It will take courage and a willingness to allow my heart to break again, but that’s the real stuff of life, my friends. That’s in the direction we should be going, always.

As they say in India, Namaste.

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