Stay In Your Own Lane For Success

One of my mindset coaches regularly showed me a picture of Michael Phelps in the 2016 Olympics 200M Butterfly event. This picture that caused internet frenzy is of Phelps looking forward, determined, swimming with his eyes on the goal. South African Chad le Clos, a rival of Phelps who had beat him in previous years, is just one head-length behind Phelps in the other lane. In the picture, le Clos is watching Phelps, rather than looking toward where he’s swimming… and ended up coming in Fourth Place, while Phelps took home his 20th Gold Medal.

“Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners,” was born, and Phelps regularly talks about “staying in his own lane” when being asked about how to achieve success. 

This is such great advice for all of us, whether we are an athlete, business leader, mom, or all of the above. Here’s what it means to me: 

1.  Your authenticity is your power.

Don’t look to your friends, your sister, Reese Witherspoon, or anyone else to copy how they parent, work, or design their life. You need to do YOU. Stay in your own lane. Follow YOUR heart and intuition. Do what is right for you. Sure, get help to make the process easier and quicker. But don’t let others’ expectations or well-meaning (but not fitting) advice impact the choices you make.

2.  Don’t worry about what other people think of you (because what they “think” is often just stories you’ve made up in your head.)

Some of my most stressful times in Corporate America were when I continually questioned my abilities. My bosses would meet behind closed doors and I’d worry they were criticizing my performance. A colleague would show up late to a meeting I’d planned and I’d assume he didn’t care about my initiative. 

None of these things were real. They were all made up from my own insecurities and not-good-enough-ness that I eventually tamed through the same inner growth work that I coach my clients through. 

When I learned that it was me, not them, I was able to put my head down and focus on doing my best work, rather than worrying about these false stories. From this place, my career soared and I enjoyed myself so much more along the way.

3.  Focus on ONE goal (with discipline).

If we focus on too many things, it will seem like we are busy and accomplishing a lot, but in reality, our energy is diverted, we spread ourselves too thin, and we feel regular overwhelm and like we’re fighting against life. 

Where our focus goes, energy flows, so for greatest success, focus on that one big goal you want to achieve, then move on to the next one once complete.

This is the hardest lesson for me to remember. I get distracted by “shiny objects” and want to divert my attention when my goal gets challenging. But its in moving through challenge that we experience a breakthrough… to either success or a new learning or understanding (which also means success in my book).

As an entrepreneur, I have big goals for my business and get excited about my future events, book, workshops, retreats, team hires, and more. But when I get too caught up in the future, this can leave me feeling scattered and unproductive. 

To re-ground myself, I often spend time in nature and re-focus my attention on the one most important goal that will have the biggest impact for my business. Once that’s done, it gives me the energy and drive to take on the next new goal I am intuitively led to. 

Remember, no matter how much passion you have, you won’t always feel zealous and motivated. So practice discipline to get closer to your goals.

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