The Achievement Trap: Are You Caught In It?

Can you relate to this trap I fall prey to all the time? I work hard towards my goals but feel like there’s still so much to get done. I receive 99 glowing reviews for a keynote, but only focus on the 1 negative one. I look into the future that seems so far away sometimes, without looking at the past to realize how far I’ve come.

Us high achievers are a lot alike. We set goals and grow and accomplish and check boxes. Then we do it all over again. And again. And again. And again. As soon as we achieve one success, we are on to the next one.

This is both beneficial AND detrimental to us.

It’s beneficial because, what I’ve found in my decades of teaching and coaching others, every single person I’ve ever worked with is capable of WAY more greatness than they initially believe is possible for themselves. Whether it was landing a new yoga pose or leading through a tragedy like Hurricane Ian, these leaders accessed a strength and courage within themselves they didn’t know was there until they had to tap into it.

So, as we continue setting bigger goals for ourselves, we keep growing into a bigger and better version of ourselves. All good stuff!

However, this Achieve. Next. Achieve. Next. Achieve. Next. mentality hurts us when we don’t recognize how far we’ve come. It hurts us when we think that joy in life will magically appear once we accomplish what we’ve set our minds to. It hurts us when we focus on the result or outcome rather than the effort or the process. It hurts us when we forget that it’s not about the goal we achieve; instead, it’s about the LEADER WE BECOME along the way.

(It also hurts our team and children when we praise them for the outcome or result, rather than the effort or the behavior. The effort and behavior is what we want repeated, so that’s what we need to continue to shine a light on.)

❔❔So how do we get past this achievement-only hustle that hurts so many of us?❔❔

First, we have to recognize that Negativity Bias impacts all of us. Negativity Bias is where humans give more attention or weight to negative information over positive information. This cognitive bias came to be when our earliest ancestors focused on a danger or a threat and were then able to protect themselves. Since this focus on a threat led to their survival, a bias towards negativity was evolutionarily ingrained into our minds.

Knowing negativity bias exists, we then need to intentionally give MORE attention to our positive experiences. The two best ways I have found to do so are through:

   👉 A regular gratitude practice, which I’ve written a lot about in the past, and

   👉 Shining a light on our successes

A few ways I shine a light on my successes are through my monthly personal accountability check-in when I highlight my wins, and through success journaling, a tool I often have my coaching clients use – especially when they are going through change and need to ignite their resilience.

Remember, the joy is in the journey.

Cheers to your journey of success.

Love and success,
💜 Your coach,
Sara

P.S. For a quick reminder of how to escape the evil achievement trap, DOWNLOAD this image.