The Art of Asking: Communication Lessons With Dave Matthews

One of my yoga teachers is a huge Dave Matthews Band fan.

One year, her husband got her front-row tickets to see DMB. Being the wise yogi she is, she spent an afternoon creating a bright, glittery sign that read, “May I meet you, Dave?”

As Dave came onto the stage to introduce the opening band, she held up her sign with proud arms, put a bold smile on her face, and communicated her request. Dave saw her sign and smiled, then went over to one of the security guards, chatted with him, and pointed to my yoga teacher.

A few minutes later that same security guard was escorting her backstage where she got to meet Dave, take a picture with him, even give him a kiss on the cheek.

She asked for what she wanted and in doing so made one of her greatest dreams come true.

I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.”

Too many of us avoid making requests of our team or family members, often because we think they should just know what we expect of them.

“If the clothes are piled up by the washer my husband should just know that I’d love him to start the laundry.”

“My team should just know that I expect them to show up to our department head meeting on time.”

“My wife should just get that when I’m asking for more date nights, it means I miss you and feel lonely.”

“My staff should just know that when a member walks through the door, we cease conversation and give them a big heart-felt, welcoming smile.”

The truth is, however, us humans don’t know your requests or expectations unless you communicate them to us (often several times).

Where can you be clearer on your expectations and, as I often say to my clients, “invite them to the party?”

Your coach,
💜Sara