The Decision-Making Tool Used By Successful Women

Every decision you’ve made has led you to right where you are right now. Do you love your life? Are you happy with what’s showing up for you regularly? Then you’re probably making the right decisions.

Do you have regrets? Do you feel unsure of yourself? Do you feel disappointment and struggle and like you never get ahead? Then you are making decisions that aren’t serving you.

Let’s change this up, shall we?

I want to introduce you to a decision-making tool that is used by the wisest and most successful among us. It’s an incredible honing mechanism for our best life that doesn’t cost a dime: our body. Unfortunately, many of us don’t use our bodies to help us make decisions because culture has taught us to disconnect from our bodies.

We learn to numb uncomfortable feelings with alcohol, shopping, or scrolling, rather than to let them flow through us. We learn to mask any physical pain with ibuprofen or its equivalent, rather than to explore the root cause of our discomfort. And we learn to deny the truth of the body, keeping menstruation, aging skin, and bowel movements hidden from the world.

But our bodies house all the data we’ve gathered over our entire life time. It stores the neurological and physiological responses to every action or inaction we’ve chosen in the past. It knows whether a decision has led to short or long-term pleasure or pain. It knows which decisions resulted in stress or ease. The more decisions we make, the more our bodies know.

So how can you use this highly informed tool that’s readily available to determine the best choices for your life?

First, you need to get reacquainted with your body. Yoga is very effective for this as the entire practice is about bringing awareness to your body and breath as you move through challenging poses that build strength and flexibility.

Or, you can strengthen your body awareness by pausing several times throughout the day and checking in: What is going on in my body right now? Do I feel any tension or pain? What feels good? What feels different? Is my breath deep and free, or does it seem shallow and restrictive? Begin to pay attention.

Then, the next time you notice a feeling like anxiety, anger, sadness, excitement, love, or gratitude, pause and check in with what’s going on in your body. Where is the feeling located? If it had a shape, what would it look like? Is it the size of a cherry or a grapefruit? Is it prickly or smooth? Warm or cold? Does it pulse or buzz?

It may be all or none of these things, but try to get specific on the details so you can hone into the feeling more concretely. Then, notice anything else that is going on in your body, from your heartbeat and breath to your temperature and skin. Practice this awareness regularly so you begin to understand the state and response of your body.

One more body connection practice before we put all this into play: Take a quiet moment every day to connect to your center. Not the actual center of your body, but the center of your essence, your intuition, your inner knowing, your heart, your gut, your connection to spirit, your being – whatever label you relate to.

To connect to your center, place both hands on your heart. Feel into this space. What do you sense? What is it telling you?

Now, move both hands down to your belly. Feel into this space. What message does it have for you? What is your belly saying? You may also try one hand on your heart and one on your belly, whatever option helps you feel most deeply into your center. This is the place I want you to tap into when you make decisions.

Many of us ignore our center and make decisions solely from our head. The problem with this is that our thoughts and belief systems are highly conditioned by culture and our upbringing. Also, our head is influenced by the should’s and shouldn’t’s from our parents and partners and teachers and religious leaders and friends and rivals. Our authentic desires and the best choices for us are within us, but they get lost underneath other’s expectations, like a single rose bush hidden beneath a forest of giant redwoods.

Once you have all this down, you are ready to use your body as a gauge to making decisions. Let’s get to it!

1.  Start by meditating for a couple minutes, taking a few deep breaths, or doing whatever gets you present and grounded. Then, bring your hands to your heart or belly, or place your hands, palms facing up, on top of your thighs in a receiving gesture.

2.  Now, think of the decision you need to make. Close your eyes and bring Choice A to mind. Notice how this choice feels in your body, especially in your heart or belly space. Do you feel expansion and lightness and joy and growth? Or do you feel contraction and heaviness and shrinking or hiding? Stay with Choice A until you get a good sense of how it feels in your body.

3.  Now, bring Choice B to mind and do the same thing. How does it feel in your body? How does it feel in your heart and belly space?

At this point, you can probably tell which choice feels best to you. Of course, we want to follow the option that makes us feel expansive and light, that feels good.

Be aware: Don’t let fear misconstrue your results. Our brains are programmed to stay as far away from fear as possible. We prefer the comfort of what we already know (even if what we know and are currently experiencing sucks). However, all the good things you desire for your life will require you to move through either a little or a lot of fear. Just because you feel the butterflies of fear in your stomach, doesn’t mean your stomach is telling you it’s the wrong choice. In fact, if the butterflies are there, good! It likely means you’ve identified the right choice and that choice is going to require you to put your big girl panties on and start creating your best life. Don’t turn away from fear.

What to do if you can’t decipher which choice feels best to you in your body?

Give yourself permission to live the question. Sometimes, we need to learn or digest more in order to get to the right decision. Be ok with not knowing right now, and trust the answer will come to you when the time is right.

This is not an excuse to stall, however! Choosing inaction will be more detrimental to you than choosing the “wrong” choice. With inaction, nothing changes. You keep getting what you’ve always gotten. You stay stuck, and there’s no more data coming in to lead you down the right path. Because even if you choose an option that might not be best for you, you’ll still learn something along the way that allows you to pivot and change course, getting you closer to what you desire. Life is always moving forward (even if the path zig zags) and successful people are always in action right alongside it. It’s time you dive on in to the flow of life.

Let me know how this works for you or if you have any questions.

Cheers to strengthening your personal decision-making tool and living the life of your dreams.
xo
Sara

P.S. Many of my clients come to me when they are going through a transition in their lives or are faced with a big decision. If that’s you right now, book a free 20-minute consult with me so we can discuss how I can best support you.