The Emotions We Weren’t Allowed To Feel

In our culture, boys aren’t allowed to be sad and girls aren’t allowed to be angry.

I’ve been sitting with this a lot lately—and seeing how it plays out in boardrooms, clubhouses, and even bedtime routines at home.

👉 When boys aren’t allowed to feel sadness, they grow into men who default to silence, sarcasm, or shut down when vulnerable conversations arise.

👉 When girls aren’t allowed to feel anger, they grow into women who bottle things up, bend over backward to keep the peace, and burn out from chronic people-pleasing.

💡This is not just a social issue. It’s a leadership issue.

• A communication issue.
• A retention issue.
• A joy issue.

When our team members, partners, or even children don’t feel safe expressing their full range of emotions—we lose connection, trust, and impact.

That’s where EQ comes in.

Because Emotional Intelligence isn’t just about being calm and composed. It’s about knowing what you feel, why you feel it, and how to express it in a way that connects rather than divides.

✅ Sadness, when acknowledged, can deepen empathy, build resilience, and point toward what you value.

✅ Anger, when honored, can signal boundaries and spark change.

I’ll leave you with this:

What emotion were you taught wasn’t safe to express?

And how might reclaiming it make you a more powerful, connected leader—at work + home?

With love,

Your coach,

💜Sara P.S. Are you a private club GM or senior leader? I’ve partnered with Execufy, a new leadership community built just for club professionals. I host a complimentary EQ Think Tank there each month—our next one is April 29 on Self-Awareness in Leadership.

Join Us Here!