The Only Apology That Matters

We all make mistakes. We are human. Owning our mistakes and apologizing for them is essential to nurture the important relationships in our lives – whether with our children and spouse, or co-workers and friends. 

We say we are sorry so that we can move on. 

But there’s only one apology that is sincere, that is worth making. 

That apology is change.

Imagine this:

Your boss was upset with your numbers at work this morning, the smell of burnt tortilla shells fills the house reminding you about the dinner you forgot in the oven, and the kids constant bickering is the last straw you can take, so you scream at them to quit it already.

Thankfully, you catch yourself and realize screaming mommy is not who you want to be. You say something like, “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, guys. Mommy has had a hard day. I love you.”

You pull it together and the night goes on. 

The next day you catch yourself yelling at your kids… again. Or nagging your husband about the way he loads the dishwasher… again. Or forgetting to call one of your top clients back when you said you would… again. You apologize… again. 

At this point, the apology no longer matters. It has no merit. 

Because the only apology that is sincere and worth making is change. 

If you find yourself in a pattern of “I’m sorry’s” for the same thing over and over again, something’s got to change. 

As Maya Angelou so wisely said, “People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But they will never forget how you made them feel.”

Your kids won’t remember your “I’m sorry’s.” They will remember how your screams made them feel about you and their own self worth. 

Own your mistakes, but break the patterns so you don’t need to apologize for them any more. 

What do you find yourself apologizing for regularly?

Do you see this pattern elsewhere in your life?

Are you ready and willing to do what it takes to disrupt this pattern?

As I’ve written before, the first step to change is awareness of what needs to change and fully accepting it for what it is. Then, you must be willing to change. You must be willing to give up the payoffs you get for staying the same. 

I explore these payoffs and how to shift your thinking around them with my clients, but for now, identify the patterns that aren’t serving you, and invite in the willingness to disrupt them. Once you are willing, opportunities that will guide you through the change you desire will present themselves to you.

This work can hurt or be hard at times, but keep your heart open and keep going! Every time you shift and grow, your radiance shines forth even more. 

Shine on, sister!

[activecampaign form=5]