Three Excuses That Keep Us From Joyful, Powerful Living

I hear a multitude of reasons and beliefs from people that hold us back from living joyful, powerful lives. They are all excuses, and I’ve had my own from time to time. Some have been ingrained in us since we were children. Others developed from exposure to limiting and ego-driven thinking as we moved through life. All of them, however, can be demolished.

The first step to stopping excuses from limiting your life is to identify them. The three most common ones I’ve heard lately are outlined below.

Excuse #1 I will be happy when…

The first mistake many of us make is looking to external factors or the future for our happiness, rather than within us. Examples include:

• Life will be great once I launch my business.
• I’ll be able to get on with my life once the kitchen remodel is done.
• I just have to make it to Friday, then all will be good with the weekend here.
• Chocolate cake is delicious and makes me feel happy while eating it. So happy that I should indulge in another piece. And maybe one more…
• I’ll be happy once my husband finally gets the hint to help around the house more.

Sure, these things can make us happy temporarily, but then what? What happens when your kitchen remodel is done and you notice your bathroom sink is outdated? What happens once you’ve eaten a few pieces of chocolate cake, and the stomach ache settles in?

And yes, there’s a sense of accomplishment that comes from officially launching your business, but then what? What happens when all the requirements of owning your business start piling up? Will you still be happy?

We need to understand that true, lasting happiness comes from within us. It comes from living authentically, being at ease in our bodies, and acting in alignment with our values. Happiness comes when we can be content with whatever circumstances we are thrown into, knowing that we will always be ok.

When a bird poops on our forehead while we are walking in the forest, we can both wipe and laugh it off while seeing the beauty in the colors of the trees and the sounds of the birds.

Happiness comes from understanding that life is a journey and the only official end of our physical existence journey is death. We must learn to find joy in the journey, peace in the process, balance in every heartbeat.

When you notice a thought tying your happiness to an outer circumstance pop into your mind, stop and name three things you are grateful for. Gratitude is one of the simplest and most effective tools to instant internal lasting happiness.

Excuse #2 It’s just how our culture/society/life/this circumstance is.

Too many of us place blame on the situations of our lives as an excuse not to act or change or make a difference.

Examples:

• It’s the disease of our culture to put too much time, energy and stress into our work.
• I have a slow metabolism; I will never lose the weight.
• I live in a patriarchal society; there’s no way I can rise to the top of my profession in this lifetime.
• Our entire political system needs an overhaul. There’s too much change needed. I can’t possibly have an impact on common sense gun reform.
• My company’s process is this way. It’s how we’ve always done things. My idea for innovation will fall on deaf ears so I will keep it to myself.
• The last time I tried, I failed. Therefore, I will fail again.

Wrong!

We have full responsibility for our lives! We choose what we believe and how we act and the way we respond to our circumstances. We choose how much energy we put into our jobs, the amount of calories we consume, the belief of whether or not we have what it takes to be a C-level executive. Change starts with one person sharing their ideas; from there, others latch on and innovation takes form.

We can play the victim card and stay in our current reality blaming others, making excuses, playing small. Or we can shift, dare, innovate, and create the life we truly want for ourselves.

Take control of the reigns, my friends. You have more power than you give yourself credit for.

Excuse #3 If I follow my passion, life will be easy. If it’s hard, it must not be for me.

This has been my latest life lesson. My passion to help women live balanced, mindful, purpose-driven lives was re-ignited the summer of 2017. Having aligned with my purpose, there was a part of life that started flowing for me. I feel intuitively guided and things I need keep magically appearing at the exact right time.

However, I’m learning that building a side business is hard work. It takes guts and determination. It takes choosing to work every night when the boys go to bed instead of watching TV or scrolling Facebook with a glass of wine. It requires taking risks. It requires failing (lots of failing) and the drive to get back up, learn from my mistakes, and try again to figure out what works.

As we speak our truth and begin living on purpose, people can disagree, put us down, laugh in our faces or behind our backs, and leave negative reviews. But as we commit to our passion and continue moving forward, we will find the people we jive with.

I realize now that I am living on purpose, I must live at a higher level, one of constant challenge, growth, and learning. The stakes are higher, but the rewards are so much greater. I must be willing to do the dirty, hard work and be in it for the long haul to taste the amazing-ness that comes from aligning with my passion.

While it can be hard at times, it is also one of the most glorious, fulfilling, authentic feelings I have experienced. So for me, now, it is harder to ignore this drive and quit, than to keep doing the hard, sometimes uncomfortable, work.

Cheers to you, my determined, hard-working, joy spreaders! May you build the life of your dreams!