Why It’s Actually NOT Easier To Keep The Peace

Sometimes we think it’s easier to put other’s needs or schedules ahead of our own and adapt to make them happy or keep the peace. While in the moment it might seem easier than speaking our truth or honoring our authentic desires, in the long-term it’s harder.

Here’s why:

#1  When we ignore our truth and don’t express our feelings to others, resentment builds within us. Resentment leads to bitterness in general, and eats away at relationships, sometimes to the point of destruction.

And/Or…

#2  If we don’t honor our truth or believe in our worthiness, it will eventually come out sideways in the form of physical disease or a reaction we will regret. Healing from a disease or cleaning up a resentment-fueled reaction causes more time and energy than if we would have done the challenging thing to honor our truth in the first place.

And/Or…

#3  By ignoring our truth and authentic desires we are literally wasting the gifts our creator gave us and the wisdom this journey through life has bestowed upon us. What you feel within your heart is there for a reason and, I promise you our world will be a better place when you take care of yourself, express your truth, and pursue your authentic desires.

Here’s an example of how this has shown up in my life:

When I was younger, I had very different religious and spiritual beliefs than most of my family. I felt like whenever I shared my point of view, I was wrong. This left me feeling unheard and like I didn’t belong. I felt like my truth didn’t matter and that what I had to say was not important.

So, I stopped sharing what was on my heart and mind. That way, I didn’t have to deal with conflict or feel the pain of alone-ness or self-doubt that came from it. In time, after holding all my thoughts and feelings in, I was like a huge balloon that kept getting blown up with more and more air, about to burst at any slight brush up against something hard or sharp.

Which is exactly what would happen… Any time I would feel safe enough to share what was on my mind (usually after a glass or two of wine or a Christmas cocktail), I’d come hard, fast, and defensive, with ZERO curiosity, empathy, or intention to understand. All that pressure, all that air, would come rushing forth in a wave of righteous emotion.

Of course, that kind of communication is never received well by anyone, so it would spiral into yelling, tears, and door slamming.

Now, I’ve worked on owning the truth I feel in my heart and not needing others to feel or believe the same way that I do. (In other words: my truth does not have to be someone else’s truth.) I have worked on owning my part of the relationships with my family (and we get along quite well now). I have worked on sharing myself more authentically.

But it can still be hard.

To this day, I still have a hard time having “real” conversations with my brothers without being emotionally heightened. There is still a part of my inner child that needs some healing and to be heard. But with the mindfulness tools I use and teach my clients, it’s easier and I’m able to bring myself back to a neutral state more quickly.

Sometimes we want a quick fix, but that’s hardly ever the answer. The truth of YOUR TRUTH is that in order to live a life you love, in order to be the fullest expression of yourself, in order to share your beautiful gifts with the world, you will have to keep doing the work. Your evolution into bigger and better things requires a continual evolution of your consciousness, emotional intelligence, and self-awareness.

How can you honor your truth and authentic desires today?

Cheers to your journey! I am here to support you.

Lots of love, your coach,

💖Sara